Wednesday, March 12, 2014

     This weekend was a good one. I feel like Logan and I both live for the weekends these days. The weeks are full of school, work, tutoring, and homework so when we finally finish everything that we need to do on Saturday night we just like to party. This weekend included some much needed Inn N out, some yoga on the living room floor, a 5K race that donated all the proceeds to cancer research, Logan and his friend Corbin skating Provo Canyon, and a pretty pie crust on Sunday afternoon.
     The older I get the more I understand how important it is to take care of not only my body but my mind as well. Logan and I were both raised with the understanding that physical exercise can greatly contribute to your happiness. We both participated in organized sports growing up, but these days we have been able to find what works for us individually. Since I started grad school I started exploring zumba, pilates, yoga, cycling, and running. I go through phases with all of these, but what I have come to realize is a good as these exercises are for my body they seem to greatly benefit my mind as well. I am currently taking a yoga class that gives me an opportunity twice a week to center myself and gain a greater understanding of what my body needs. At the end of every session we lay in savasana, which is where you basically lay on your back (it sounds way cooler in sand script). During this time we are encouraged to find our conscious breath I usually like to thank my body for all the things that it does for me. I think that in our culture especially as women we are constantly hating on our bodies. We curse it for not being tall enough, skinny enough, curvy enough, smooth enough, or strong enough. And believe me I do my fair share of this. But twice a week for a span of 5 minutes of pure peace and breathing I thank my body for what it does do for me. It is moments like that that allow me to start a week all over again and pour myself into school, work, tutoring and homework. 

Thursday, March 6, 2014

    I am currently in my last semester of graduate school, which means that this is my 6th year of college. I am feeling so incredibly tired and burned out that things that used to be easy are not incredibly difficult to even fathom. I used to be able to whip out a paper in 30 minutes and now it seems to take me 3 hours to create an outline and brainstorm my points. Midterms just ended this week and I am surprised that I survived the way that I did. To be honest I have kind of been spiraling down into a bit of a "poor me" thinking style, which is obviously not helpful in my current situation. I remember when I started grad school and I would devour every word from every text book that I was required to read. I love to read and I loved reading things about my profession. My motivation has steadily diminished and now I am struggling. Things were very hard right before Christmas break and my sweet friend sent me home for vacation with her favorite book that she said I "had to read." So I went home for two weeks and started to read it. I read it in two days and was dying for more. I entered the world that the author created and began to soak up the words like water. The book is a series and there were currently 4 more books out. So I would go to Barns and Nobel every other day to get each book, which can get pricey for a poor college student. 
     When I was growing up I noticed a pattern in my mom's behavior. Although money was tight there were two things that she would always buy if we asked, one was books and the other was sports or exercising opportunites. Every time I asked for a book growing up my mom would always make sure that I got it. Her willingness to buy me books reinforced the importance of their presence in my life. So by the end of the two weeks I had read 5 books, which ended up being 2, 437 pages all together. I once again had been able feel free in another world, while still staying grounded in my own. I read a quote by Benedict Cumberbatch last week and he said, "I can feel infinitely alive curled up on the sofa reading a book." His words really resonated with me and made me realize that there is so much entertainment that is not necessarily captured in the social networking world, but in old books that somehow remain timeless. 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

     On Sunday I listened to an amazing message about recording our personal history. I have never been the type of girl that writes in a diary. I loved to read and explore other worlds through literature, but whenever I sat down to write in a journal I just thought of all of the other things that I would rather be doing. However this message that I listened to made so much sense in terms of leaving a piece of myself behind for my children and my children's children. As you can see by my profession I have always been fascinated by the human mind and why people do the things they do. I love learning about peoples history and seeing what happened in their lives that shaped who they are now. Whenever I have time with my mom I am always showering her with questions about people in our lives because I find it fascinating. I want my children to have piece of me that they can read and not figure out what I ate for breakfast or how many hours I worked in a day, but see how my mind works. I want them to know my quirks and what I loved and hated and what was important to me. I want them to know that I hate sloppy joes and love Postum. I want them to know that my soul guides the things that I do and witness what events have shaped my personality.
   So I am rededicating my blog to being a place where I can share my thoughts, successes, failures, and the things that make me who I am. So here is a little bit of me, I love the beach. I am so excited to be moving back to California so I can be near the ocean. I find that people who do not grow up near the beach think I am crazy, but I love the ocean. It makes me feel complete, comforted, peaceful, and grounded. There is something about the ocean that makes me feel like I am exploding with energy while remaining completely grounded to the earth.
   In therapy we do a fair amount of mindfulness. Mindfulness consists of a series of interventions that allows the individual to connect with themselves, accept who they are as a person, and keep themselves in the present. I have done some of these interventions myself and find that whenever I need to connect with myself I imagine the ocean. I think it is important for everyone to find and enjoy the things that bring them peace in order to become the best version of themselves. So there is a piece of me.